What did you want to be when you were little? What are you now?
I’m still little. I’m offended.
Does pineapple belong on pizza?
Sure, just like dog turds in a taco.
What’s the weirdest place you have ever fallen asleep?
Hugging an appliance…..or so rumor has it.
What do you do on your commute to and from work?
Work? Hahaha
What activity instantly calms you?
Drinking red wine.
What is the worst fashion decision you have ever made?
Platform shoes. You had to be there.
What obscure thing are you talented at?
Being obscure.
What is the dumbest way you have ever injured yourself?
Cut a tree and it fell on my head.
What is the weirdest thing you like to eat?
Hot peppers…..lots of hot peppers.
What is the worst advice you have ever received?
You should take her out.
If you ran for president, what would your campaign slogan be?
The Constitution first.
What is the best prank you have pulled on someone?
Mixed clay and water in a soda can and gave it to a thirsty worker. Quenched their thirst and need for base minerals.
Name a fact or tidbit that you learned in school that has stuck with you?
It’s not what you learn, it is THAT you learn.
What is something most people like that you don’t understand?
Nothing
What would you do if you were invisible for a day?
Enjoy the peace and quiet.
What is your hometown famous for?
Sauerkraut. Need I say more?
What popular trend bothers you?
CRT, being sheep, socialism. Thanks for asking.
What is the worst food you have ever tried?
Liver. Hands down.
What is something people would never guess about you?
I won the Michigan Mr. Legs competition in 1983.
Do you have any superstitions?
Nope.
What is something you have never been able to do well?
Keep my mouth shut.
Explain your worst date ever?
Blind date that went psycho on me.
If you had a time machine, when would you go to and why?
Back to tell my folks goodbye.
What is something that everyone should try at least once?
Sledding. Grow a set and slide like your life depends on it.
Is cereal soup?
Is soup sauce?
What is the most ridiculous fact you know?
How long it takes to clean a toilet.
What is the dumbest rule at your workplace?
Workplace? Rules?
What movie scared you to death as a kid?
Babes in Toyland.
Toilet paper, over or under?
Over the roller, under the butt. Problem solved.
What is something that is really popular now, but in 10 years everyone will look back on and be embarrassed by?
Socialism.
What was the most inappropriate or embarrassing place you’ve farted?
Church.
If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
Any dog, because they see us at our truest moments.
If you could be in any movie, which one would it be?
Blazing Saddles.
Worst song ever?
B-B-B-B-Benny and the Jets.
What instrument is the most annoying?
The instrument of death. Oh, musically? Bells early in the morning.
If you could be any fictional character, who would you be and why?
Darklord
If you could travel to anywhere on the planet, where would you go?
Bali…..just never been there.